365 days later...

A year ago today, I was thanking God for concealer and for a best friend who knows how to make me look human.I heaved a sigh of relief that my heels didn't get tripped up by my long baju kurung. I looked through the door and saw my fiance, looking so dapper in his suit, with a nervous grin on his face and love in his eyes. I sat down in our bedroom, getting my make up touched up and my hair put into place... and I thought... Shit got real. We're getting married.

It was traditional, yet not. There was no walking down the aisle, no official flower girls (but the Mimi and the Lily looked adorable in their matching floral outfits) and no fanfare. It was the most important signature I provided and the minute the tip of the pen left the certificate... it sealed our promise of a lifelong commitment to each other.

There was a sermon though. I couldn't hear all of it, being in the bedroom while the men were in the living room with the imam. I did hear this little bit of advice: whenever you are mad with your spouse, stop to remember the reasons why you love them. Which probably explains why I fail miserably at staying mad at my husband.

It's been a very trying year, to be honest. We've had as many misadventures as we've had adventures - like the countless trips moving items, first with a Thrifty van with the most problematic and creaky gear, before resorting to borrowing Paul's station wagon and then loading up my tiny Mazda 2 with so many boxes that I was worried that we'd be pulled over by the police. There's been plenty of heartache as other things in our life went awry (like losing ALL of our koi, yes even the fancy butterfly koi I bought him for Valentine's Day, due to bad weather and a horrible water filter system).

Through it all, I've been kept sane by an amazing partner. He's my rock who holds me when all I want to do is cry in frustration, who strokes my hair to ease the thumping in my head from overthinking and basically calms me down.

Most importantly, he makes the good outweigh the bad.

I'm not talking about the amazing moments and milestones in our lives that we've celebrated thus far. Don't get me wrong, we've had plenty of those - we've been blessed to afford two holidays this past year and Ant got promoted a few times in his first year at his new job.

However, it's easy to smile during a happy occasion.

What's really special is when you find someone who makes the seemingly mundane bearable, even enjoyable. Sitting at home with a big bowl of his sweet potato chips makes me as happy as I would be at Restaurant Amuse for their amazing degustation. Walking through Sydney and Melbourne, with his hand in mine, was so much more fun than taking in the sights by myself.

He's made me a more appreciative person. I find myself calmer and more content with less than I used to. I don't need fancy dinner dates, souped up cars or shopping sprees to be happy. His devotion and love brings me so much joy.

So much joy that I am committed to making him happy because I want to keep this cycle going. He makes it so easy and satisfying to make him happy. While I enjoyed watching the Lion King at the Capitol this year, I think I reaped greater joy from sharing that experience with him and watching his face light up during the opening number.

And that, in my opinion, is what love is all about. Yes, there are the fights but when two people are committed to giving it their all and doing their best, you create a happy momentum. You feed off each others' happiness and use that energy to keep the relationship going in positive ways. The end product of a commitment to healthy habits (showing appreciation for small things, open communication, goodnight kisses... and so on) is a formidable force that occasional discords and external stresses cannot break. 

And I am so glad I found that.

Happy 365, my love. Here's to embarking on exciting adventures, roughing it through tough times and bringing each other joy for the rest of our lives. xoxo

 
Of course... we couldn't have made it here without the support of our loved ones, not just during our special days, but whenever and wherever. In particular:

• Our families for accepting our union and giving us their blessing.
• Natt for being the wise older sister and advising me on how to navigate this new chapter in my life.
• My bestie in Perth, Sharny and her hubby Paul for always being there for us. I was already indebted to them for so much and I am so grateful for having them in our lives.
• My bestie in Singapore, the Pooey one, for being my non-judgemental sounding board. The one who helps my rants by joining in with (usually) supportive commentary. The one best friend who would help me bury and conceal the dead body in my trunk.