The Ranty Patriot

I think the fact that yesterday was National Day kinda brought out the patriot in me. No, I wasn’t wearing red and white to the office. I didn’t break my fast with Singaporean food. And I certainly did not try to stream the National Day Parade.

So what did I do instead? I ranted about soya bean milk on my Facebook status update (which got 22 likes, by the way!)

Dear Aussies, please stop calling that disgusting, diluted, grey dishwater crap you put on the supermarket shelves soy milk.
Sincerely,
the Singaporean who grew up drinking freshly made, REAL soy milk.

So I thought I’d rant about more things that these silly angmohs do which get my goat:

We get that you think Singlish is kinda cool. Even though we’ve been told off about it being “bad English” while we were growing up, we get that you’re fascinated with it. But please, STOP forcing lah on to the end of every sentence. It kinda disrespects Singlish if you think you can use it anywhere you choose… thus contradicting your supposed interest and making you look like a condescending twit.
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Singapore noodles? What the hell is that? I honestly cannot remember ever seeing Singapore noodles in Singapore. I don’t think it even exists in Singapore.
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Similarly… Asian sauce. Really? You do realise that Asia covers lots of countries and thus lots of different culinary traditions, right?
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Not all Singaporean people are Chinese. Singapore is not a monoculture. So please stop telling me that I don’t look Singaporean.
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Satay has been much maligned in this country. Satay is a dish comprising meat on skewers, accompanied with a peanut-based sauce. So please stop bastardising our much loved dish by diluting peanut butter and throwing random crap in it to make it some weird stew/curry.
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Similarly… not every coconut-based curry is a laksa.
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Are we surprised that most of my rants involve food? Well… I AM Singaporean. And fasting. Haha!